Prelude to National Coming Out Day

Tomorrow (Tuesday, October 11) is National Coming Out Day!

Today, I want to use this post to speak to those of you who may have someone come out to you; those of you who are our allies.

(This post was written as a companion to a post I’m publishing tomorrow. In tomorrow’s post, I’ll be speaking to those of you who are part of our LGBTQIA+ family, but aren’t yet out.)

If someone comes out to you, I’m asking you to please keep a few things in mind.

First, and above all, keep loving them.
If someone has come out to you, it’s probably because they love, trust, and respect you.
So please don’t do anything that would break their faith in you.
Coming out is hard and exhausting; support them.

Respect that the person coming out to you knows themself.
Questions like, “Are you sure,” or statements like, “You don’t mean that” don’t help.
Please trust me here that people put a lot of thought into their identity and have asked themselves a lot of questions, before coming out.

Listen to them.
They’re telling you something important, and they need you to hear everything they’re saying.
There’s a lot of nuance to identity; people are complicated, and in one conversation they’re trying to share something big.
If you hear words or phrases that you’re not familiar with, it’s OK to ask, but don’t interrupt them; and please accept that there may be things that they can’t answer, or are uncomfortable answering, at this time.

Finally, please remember that this isn’t about you.
This is their moment.
They are sharing with you, and they should be the focus of all you have; your love, respect, trust, and attention.

Thank you.

Love from your queer Jewish Latina,
Library Girl (aka Mina) and

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PPS: Just before we part, I’d like to note that these blog posts are only half of what I do as Library Girl. The other half is on Twitter. If you don’t have a Twitter account, you may still visit my twitter page and see what I’m up-to, here:
If you are on Twitter, please join the bookish conversation with me.
Thank you.

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